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Time in the Wilderness


The past several months of transitioning to full time work with SportQuest have been full of spiritual warfare and what I am beginning to recognize as a time in the "wilderness." In the wilderness, there has been rejection, loss, and heartache; but the Lord keeps His promises. He has been very present, walking with me and reminding me both who He is and who I am. Scripture has a lot to say about the wilderness. The Israelites were in the wilderness for a long time before entering the promised land. John the Baptist carried out his entire ministry in the wilderness (or in prison). Jesus entered the wilderness before calling His disciples and beginning His work. In Romans 8:18-30 (I've shortened it here, but go read it ALL!), the Apostle Paul, who suffered greatly for the Gospel, writes:
"Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later...For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering...And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. For God knew His people in advance, and He chose them to become like His Son, so that His Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, He called them to come to Him. And having called them, He gave them right standing with Himself. And having given them right standing, He gave them His glory."

I long for this promised release from sin and suffering both for myself and for those who I love and serve.


One thing I am learning in the wilderness, though, is that until that promise is fulfilled, we will all be asked to trust God is working for the good of us who love Him. Being confronted with suffering in the wilderness - both personal suffering and the suffering of others - has challenged me to ask myself, "Do I trust Him? Do I trust His goodness?" I can give a verbal and mental, "Yes!" to these questions, but this answer is incomplete if my actions are not aligned with my beliefs. What does it mean to live out this "Yes"? For starters, I know it means my actions should be full of the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
I've been sitting in deep grief and depression for a few weeks now, feeling the heaviness of the darkness in the arenas the Lord has called me to serve. I don't think these feelings are in any way outside of God's design - after, all "Jesus wept" - but Jesus' grief moved Him to act both compassionately (healing people & feeding them!) and boldly (raising Lazarus from the dead!).


Later, Jesus trusted God's goodness enough to stick with the plan, a plan He knew came with great suffering and great glory.


In the wilderness then, my prayer is that my heart will be softened, not hardened, and that rather than being paralyzed with grief or fear, the Lord will give me the courage to move forward in ministry with boldness because I trust His goodness and I can cast my cares on Him and rest in His sovereign power. In Paul's words,
"I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope He has given to those He called—His holy people who are His rich and glorious inheritance. I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe Him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated Him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms." (Ephesians 1:18-19)

Now that's why we celebrate Easter!

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